Friday, May 8, 2009

Breaking: Thought to be Extinct GOPosaur, Alan Keyes sighted (and arrested) at Notre Dame

Breaking News, Lefties... apparently while I was settling down to take my post-finals nap, there was a sighting of a thought to be extinct variety of GOPosaur. Alan Keyes, former serious contender joke of a Republican presidential candidate, and former carpetbagging Senate candidate (ran against Obama in 2004) must have been craving another 15 minutes of fame. With Randall Terry hogging all of the crazy, Keyes must have been pretty jealous, because well, with the two of them in the world there's just not a whole lot of kookiness to go around.

One of my favorite blogs, Wonkette, featured a brief sampling of the high comedy Keyes brings to the Notre Dame community:
These words must ring in the ears of faithful Christians as they consider the grim reality of abortion. Every time abortionists rip a child limb from limb within the womb; every time they crush the fragile head; every time they scorch the life from its body with a death dealing solution; every time they scrape its nascent cells of life from the walls of a womb- Jesus is savagely beaten again; his skull pressed down with thorns; his limbs pulled savagely in their sockets; his hands and feet pierced through with nails; his breath drawn with fiery pain; his life finally extinguished; every time.
It gets better. Check out the full letter here (.pdf) Apparently he was planning to get arrested (egomaniac? ...nahhh) and plans to keep bringing the crazy every day:
I will do it all day and every day from now until the Master comes if need be, though it mean I shall be housed everyday in the prison house of lies and injustice that Obama, Jenkins and their minions now mean to construct for those who will never be still and silent in the face of their mockery of God and justice, their celebration of evil.
Alan, can you let us know when you're coming? I'd love to sell tickets to this shit-show. It would be a great fundraiser for our College Dems! Anyhow, I just finished my finals today, so call/text if you want to go celebrate some evil with me! :)

Oh, and one more thing... what's the deal with batshit-insane radical anti-choice fundamentalists having gay children that they are ashamed of? Both Randall Terry and Alan Keyes are complete assholes for parents.

3 comments:

J D said...

I swear, God was trying to tell me this was going to happen. I was having this discussion with Jackie and Henry not too long ago and the very first thing that occurred to me after hearing about how Randall Terry is just the BEST DAD EVER was, "what is it with nutjob conservatives and being terrible parents?"

IT WAS A SIGN.

Bill said...

Let's see

Dick Cheney has a lesbian daughter, who he supports, and he even gave her a job working for his reelection campaign

Alan Keyes had a lesbian daughter, and he disowned her

therefore

Dick Cheney > Alan Keyes

ShamRockNRoll said...

That's a pretty stunning equation when you have a '>' following Dick Cheney.