Friday, February 26, 2010

Lose Votes And Get That Legislative Body You've Always Wanted In Just 6 Easy Steps!

That's right, in just 6 easy steps, you can get rid of those nasty excess votes and get noticed by the guys on the other side of the aisle!!

Step 1: During the campaign, propose an ambitious health care reform plan. A single-payer system in America.

Step 2: Completely disregard it. Start the negotiations at a public option. Keep all the insurance congolmerates in business, but give them some competition. Everybody likes competition.

Step 3: Pass an ambitious health care bill in the house, with both the Catholic Church's endorsement AND the AARP's endorsement. Get people excited.

Step 4: Negotiate with just Senator Lieberman. Hope Ted Kennedy doesn't die. If he does, hope that Massachussets doesn't already have a public option, thus discouraging them from wanting to pay for the rest of the country's plan. If that fails, hope your non-elected incumbent suddenly gains a personality.

Step 5: Pass the senate's version of the health care bill. It's like when America tried to pass it's version of beer. They watered it down.

Step 6: START THE NEGOTIATIONS AGAIN. This time, make the starting point the senate bill. Rule a public option out of the question. Laugh haughtily if somebody reminds you of campaign promises. Make sure your constituents feel completely alienated from the legislative process.

We guarantee you will lose your supermajority in just 1 year! The mid-term elections are just around the corner, so shed that approval and confidence fast. Voters' total frustration in their government or your money back!

*Results aren't typical. America combined these steps with a total lack of exercise (of their majority in both the house and senate, and a sitting president). Side effects include diarrhea.


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1 comment:

ShamRockNRoll said...

Haha, good stuff man... they had better come up with something decent out of this.