Friday, February 19, 2010

Why John Mellencamp Should Be The Next U.S. Senator From Indiana

With Evan Bayh's abrupt departure from the senate, it's up to Indiana to decide who will take his place. Who better than Indiana's own rock-and-roll-laureate, Mr. John (Cougar) Mellencamp? Here's why.

1. He was born in a small town
Educated in a small town
Taught to fear Jesus in a small town
Used to daydream in that small town
Another born romantic that's me
Are there any lyrics written by a liberal that so wonderfully court the teabaggers and Sarah Palin's "real America"? Just don't let the song play to the part where he "marries an L.A. doll", or we'll lose them just as soon as we get them.

2. He has a history of saying "screw you" to Republicans

During the last campaign, John Mellencamp got royally pissed off when he discovered that John McCain was using his tune "Our Country" for the McCain/Palin campaign. Apparently, McCain ignored the lyrics:
There's room enough here
For science to live
And there's room enough here
For religion to forgive
And try to understand
All the people of this land
This is our country
Not exactly courting to the conservative base. Anyway, this ordeal was reminiscent of years earlier, when Mellencamp shut down Reagan's attempt to co-opt the tune "Pink Houses" - a song about how the American dream tends to fail those who were born less fortunate (Reagan also missed the point when he tried to use Springsteen's "Born In the USA", which is about how terribly the government treated Vietnam veterans). He's been doing this since Reagan! That's experience you can count on.

3. He puts on a great show.

I can attest to this from personal experience. I saw him open up for Bob Dylan (who should be president, by the way) this summer. He was great. You thought Barack Obama's campaign resembled a rock concert tour? John Mellencamp's campaign would ACTUALLY BE a rock concert tour!

4. Bruce Springsteen is from New Jersey.

Let's face it, if there is any rock star who should be sitting in the senate right now, it's The Boss himself. But Indiana doesn't have the boss, Indiana has John Mellencamp. So we'll have to make do.

5. Who else is there?

Evan Bayh screwed the Democrats by jumping ship. The Indiana Democratic Party is scrambling around, trying to find a suitable candidate for replacement, when a man with both popular appeal and truly progressive ideology is right in their lap. So, why not? We might not have a choice.

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ShamRockNRoll said...

Great post, Tim. I think it would definitely be interesting if Mellencamp ran... though it looks like Ellsworth is getting the nod from the party elders.

Colleen said...

This is too funny. He would win just because of his name. People wouldn't even pay attention to the issues he supported. He would be the liberal (and better) Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Chris Rhodenbaugh said...

I AM BEHIND MELLENCAMP. I could watch Al Franken on C-Span for hours simply because I am entranced by a real person/outsider with normal levels of patience etc interact in the Senate. The Senate has serious problems right now, Mellencamp could inject some humanity into a body almost entirely devoid of it.

Sarah Furman said...

There are SO many reasons why I love this post =)