Friday, March 5, 2010

House of Representatives Admits Facts, Causes ‘World War Three’



Look at this gem from the Reuters:
Turkish leaders reacted with fury after the House of Representatives Foreign Affairs Committee narrowly passed a non-binding resolution that tarred their grandfathers with the same crime as Nazi Germany.
Well shit, I can’t count how many times in my life Turkey has raged at the pagan United States for ADMITTING HISTORY, but apparently this non-binding resolution will soon cause the end of the world:
Analysts said this new slap from the United States ran a risk of further alienating Turkey, at a time when there were concerns that its warmer ties with neighbors Iran and Syria, and Russia too, marked a shift away from the West.
Yes, what a slap! Iran? Syria? Russia? Someone quickly elect Zombie Reagan to put an end to this madness! Through tanks and bombs, of course (How else do you end a warless war!?).

Dear Ottoman Empire, if you would truly like to see what constitutes an America ‘slap,’ I propose you look DIRECTLY SOUTH at that oil crater mess we made in 01, or 02, or 03, or whenever that Shock and Awe thing began (Because of tyranny or nuke rods or real life genocide or some shit like that, right?). Now that was an Merica' ‘slap’! Watch out Ottomans, our Congress isthisclose to shocking and aweing the hell out of you too.

And so the American Congress admits history and "damages efforts to restore peace and stability in the region" Forever.

Way to go Congress, is there anything you can't fuck up?

Nick DeBoer can be reached at ndeboer@purdue.edu or twitter.com/nickdeboer

4 comments:

Bill said...

Wow. Congress finally acknowledged the Armenian genocide? I didn't see that coming at all.

ShamRockNRoll said...

Sweet Jesus.

ShamRockNRoll said...

Awesome map, by the way. Haha

Green Eagle said...

I wonder when Congress will get around to passing a similar resolution condemning the United States for its aggression against the country of Vietnam, in which we killed more people than were killed in the Armenian Genocide.


Oh... I guess that's different. After all, that wasn't hate, it was just business.