Tuesday, October 22, 2013

A Proposal to Increase the Effectiveness of Our Congress

In this post, I use political satire in an attempt to expose the flawed logic of ultra-conservative solutions to our country’s underlying budgetary and economic problems. They recognize the problems we face in society (failing schools, crumbling roads, etc.), but they utterly fail to see the right solutions to those problems. Instead of dealing with the problems head-on, they believe that working for corporations and special interests will faithfully represent the interests of American democracy. Unfortunately, Democratic legislators are just as guilty of giving in to special interests and immediate re-election benefits in lieu of working responsibly to solve our nation’s problems. In this satire, I work off two ideas: 1) the belief among these special interest groups that their practices are simply democracy, and 2) the conservative claim that what is good for business is good for America. Using these ideas, I build the logic for a plan which the speaker thinks will benefit the American public. The speaker does not recognize that failing to directly tackle our country’s underlying social problems will solve nothing. His proposal will institute a sort of hyper-pluralism which will turn the American government into more of a self-interested oligarchy.

 I am enraged at the current disheveled state of our legislative politicians who cannot set aside their petty responsibilities for the good of the nation. I am sure that this deplorable irresponsibility at the highest level of governance has wreaked havoc on your lives as it has on mine. Elected officials enter office with every intention of working for the national self-interest, and then they are absolutely corrupted by the Washington culture. I have seen many a good man, some of them dear friends and colleagues, deluded by the pretensions to which the federal government aspires. Even worse, they feed off the ignorance of voters who know little of how the political culture distorts a man’s character. Thus, an uneducated electorate keeps feeding talentless politicians into a system of chronically subpar governance. How can we maintain our status as the greatest country God ever gave to man on the face of the Earth if this trend continues?

This phenomenon, which is placing us on the abyss of default and Chinese domination, is the greatest threat facing the stature of this nation. Unfortunately, I know of no other American citizen who has truly come forth to lead a charge for serious reform. At first, such a revolutionary figure would certainly meet staunch resistance in that clown show we call our Capitol. However, once the American public recognizes the wisdom of his plan, he would certainly be accommodated as the fifth head on Mount Rushmore.

Luckily, I stumbled across a solution during an evening stroll with a colleague from my business lobby, and the germ of intellect has not stopped working since. I was surprised to learn from my colleague how little our investment in legislative candidates pays off, with no one politician truly committed to defending our interests. Thinking my federal subsidies as secure as a Fort Knox vault, my jaw dropped to hear that our Democratic legislators-in-pay were considering cuts to our federal subsidies as part of a budget deal. Furthermore, I am sure you all share the opinion that it is sickening to think how these legislators have shirked their responsibilities in favor of small compromises which will never move this country forward. How can these short-sighted politicians forget what got them elected? I realized how flawed our entire system of governance has been since its inception over 200 years ago. Why should arbitrary geographic divisions and fluctuations in population density decide where the money flows? I argue that this system of representation should be abolished in favor of a system which more faithfully represents the distribution of interests within America. Instead of 535 legislators divided up by district and state, the elected legislators should represent the 535 most powerful special interest lobbies and corporations in America.  

Unfortunately, many Americans believe that our legislators can work within the current system and also faithfully represent the national interests. After pondering this misconception, I realized that most U.S. citizens probably hold a false idea of what constitutes the national interest.  They wrongly emphasize the role which liberal government investment strategies and social service schemes play in the betterment of the nation. Because of our democratic system, this misguided ideology has reached into the halls of Congress, where it is poisoning the nation. For example, I heard from other colleagues how their subsidies were reduced to pay for nature reserves in Wyoming, failing schools in Detroit, and upgraded interstates in Louisiana. I shudder to think of the amount of jobs this country would lose if tax breaks and subsidies were removed for the improvement of schools and roads in poor or remote parts of the country. It is efforts such as these which prevent effective governance. However, one cannot blame these politicians. The liberal Washington culture fills their heads with ideas which lead them to think that infrastructure, education, affordable healthcare, government investment, etc. will solve the country’s domestic problems. As history has shown, these efforts have been a drain on the national GDP and a constraint on the potential of this great nation.

My proposal will more efficiently represent these critical national interests and improve the quality of American democracy. In keeping with the idealistic spirit of the lower chamber working for the common good of the people, the House of Representatives shall be filled with the finest representatives from 435 of the most influential special interest groups. The highest court in the land provides a strong legal precedent in the practice when they proclaimed not too long ago that the power of money equaled the power of speech. With the greatest resources of money behind these influential special interest groups, would it not make sense to bypass the restrictions of the current system and give them their own House seat? Would this not more faithfully represent the interests of the American public as a whole better than the hyper-local tendencies of our current representatives?

The Senate, the more removed and responsible upper house, shall be composed of representatives from 100 of the country’s largest corporations. This upper house will be responsible for passing the tax breaks and subsidies which give our corporations the competitive advantage they need to thrive in the global market. The benefits that the Senate distributes shall fill the pocketbooks of the American people. Hence, they will be in charge of the overall economic well-being of the country by making sure that the largest corporations stay in a position to create jobs. As for the executive branch, a President beholden to the ever fluctuating demands of the masses cannot expect to agree with the programs passed by this new legislature. Therefore, for the sake of government efficiency, the Electoral College will be adjusted to represent the special interests and corporations. Winning the majority vote in a special interest group or corporation will win that group’s vote, and the first presidential candidate to 268 Electoral College votes will gain the presidency.

I can think of no greater boon than the surging economy this new government would help to bring about. With control of the government fully in the hands of large corporations and influential special interest groups, no longer will federal money be unwisely spent on curing endemic social ills. That money will go towards giving private companies the advantages they need to keep revenue high. If you can imagine the enormous amount of sunken funds that are wasted in the millions of potholed interstates and decrepit public schools, then just conceptualize how many jobs those funds would create if they were used to benefit our nation’s corporations. I think this transfer of funds would be so powerful that it could eliminate the problem of unemployment. The general feeling of optimism surrounded by the growing trend of employment will produce this country’s greatest economic boom since the 1950’s. So far, I can find no one who would object to this outcome.

To conclude, my proposal seeks to alter the current system of corrupt politics in Washington whereby remote districts and futile social programs drain the financial resources of the nation. This entrenched system of misguided governance is the single greatest obstacle to our success as a country, and I have just put forward a proposal which seeks to remove that obstacle and turn it into a catalyst. My plan seeks to make government work for America’s greatest institutions in order to put this nation back on the path to unparalleled excellence. I am confident that most of my fellow citizens will see the wisdom in this plan and take strong heed of my advice. 

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